Having read back over the goals I had set for myself….I had no idea what I would encounter in this experience.  I achieved more than I ever could have wished for, both for myself and for the work that we did…..I held (the premature infant) in my arms for a while after she died.  I was thinking of the differences in what would have been if I were in a place that had the money for an NICU.  This led me to question a great deal all at once about Critical Care in all forms and the worth of human life, and how that changes from place to place insofar as the length to which money will be spent to reverse death.  The most profound thought that did truly surprise me was this:  does the mother know all that I know?  Does it change anything?  I was shaken by this.  A simple event has forced me to evaluate the way I think and feel about the work that I do.  It has changed me and my practice.

Leviticus Cole, RN, Providence Portland Medical Center
Sponsored by: Northwest Medical Teams
Honduras, May 11 - 24, 2005